The Life That Is Mine

Why is she so sad? A grown woman who often feels like the child in this picture...except that Mom or Dad's hugs can no longer fix her. Sad and vulnerable...depressed and sometimes hopeless. To the outside world, her life appears wonderful. She has an amazing family and a very strong and loving support system in her friends. She is intelligent, athletic, social/friendly, loving, trustworthy...and is generally very well-liked by her peers. She has had numerous wonderful opportunities and experiences and had the ideal and happy childhood. So what happened? Why is she so sad? Why is her brain wired with obsessive compulsions...self hatred...intense anxiety and sadness? Why does she "settle" into relations with men...why doesn't she believe any of her peers who insist that she deserves better? Why does she feel inadequate...even worthless at times? She wants so desperately to be happy as she once genuinely was...before he damaged her. She wants so desperately to heal her internal wounds and learn to love herself. She tries...she becomes so tired. The energy expended on what may seem so simple is absolutely exhausting for her. She has started her climb up countless times...only to repeatedly plummet to darkness shortly after. It is difficult for her to remain hopeful...but with the help and love of her family and friends...she tries. Thankfully, she has many people that continue to extend their hands in order to help her climb out of the deep holes that she digs...people that refuse to give up on her...people that continue to love her and support her regardless. However, no one can pull her out by themselves...she must first climb towards their outstretched hands. They can not save her so easily. She often gets ahold of a helping hand...only to slip back out of their clutches and descend back towards her rock bottom. Why is she so sad? She is often told she is so strong...so why does she continue to struggle? Why is she so sad? And will she ever obtain true happiness within herself? She will continue to try...she will try to believe and remain hopeful in herself as others continue to believe and hope in her.